Finding special someone takes time, patience, courage

Love can sometimes be a nasty four letter word that carries different connotations for different people. It's one of those words that we all know the meaning of; however, it can mean something completely different to you or to me.

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, a recent late night trip to IHOP spawned an interesting conversation about love between my friends and I. I have noticed a trend between college students and our relationships. It feels like at our young age it is so easy for any one of us to fall victim to the idea of finding that perfect someone to plan our future with.

But that's the problem, young people fall head over heels in love and decide to plan their entire future and life around this person. They often make their after-graduation plans to prevent long distance relationships and to keep their relationship alive. I myself once fell victim to this, going as far as to transfer schools and make it easier for the both of us. No matter how hard you work at a relationship, it can be completely out of your control.

We're all so ready to be done with college and to get to the real world. It's like we try to put our lives into overdrive and fast forward through all the best parts of life just to get where we want to be. It's almost like we put ourselves in the situation where we're ready to play house and have that perfect family, that perfect house.

I've known people who once they met the one they thought was the perfect person. they put their lives in overdrive mode and tried to get to that perfect house and family, only to be extremely unhappy once they got there. It's like that old paradox- you only want what you can't have, and once you get what you want, you don't want it anymore. It's almost as if we spend all the time rushing to get to that place, and in the process we lose that passion for that person.

I feel comfortable expressing my woes about this plight because I was once engaged, playing house and changing my life, only to see it fall apart. It's important to slow things down and enjoy times like this before you put yourself in the position to worry about bills, kids or finding that perfect house. College is suppose to be that time to find yourself and figure out what you want. It's not to find that other person and change everything you wanted instantly.

I mean no disrespect to people who have found that special person they think they want to spend the rest of their life with. There are many people who have met at college and to this day are still successfully married. But for the rest of us, caution should be exercised, because the thing you're risking the most in life is losing the things that may make you the happiest.

A friend and I are hoping that post graduation we can move to New York-a lofty goal, some may think, but a goal nonetheless. Through hard work, determination and some needed support from some of our closest friends, we're trying to make this goal a reality. I know now what I didn't know then-that my life can be just as meaningful, and fulfilling despite not having that person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I know that if I was still with that person I would limit the dreams I have for myself and prevent myself from achieving some of the greatest things possible. I say this to all of you: Don't limit the things you want out of your life. Sometimes people change, and it just leaves you in a worthless situation, filled with sorrow and unhappiness.