According to U.S. Census Bureau there are 95.7 million unmarried and single Americans, 54 percent of whom are women. Because of these numbers, people are always dating, always on the prowl looking for their perfect match. I listen to my peers talk about how they have either been on some wonderful dates or on some very horrific dates. I want to give you some advice that my friends have given me and that I've picked up along the way.
The best thing people can do for themselves or for the person they are dating is to be honest. Honesty is key in any relationship, whether it lasts a week or a lifetime. Be true to who you are. Do not change who you are, trying to fit the persona you think the person you are dating wants. Be yourself and nobody else. Changing who you are only causes problems in the long run for your relationship because the real you will eventually come out.
Be confident. When you act insecure it shows. Sometimes people become intimidated by a person because they don't believe they are good enough or cute enough for that person. If you make it to the point where you are on a date with that person, apparently you are their type on some level. So, put your head up and your shoulders back, and believe in yourself enough to know that you are just as worthy as the next person.
Leave the past in the past. Don't go on a date with a new person complaining about your ex. Do not punish the new person in your life for something someone in your past did. Do not compare your ex with your new beau.
Express yourself. Don't be afraid to tell your spouse how you feel. Everybody wants to feel wanted or needed, maybe not all the time but sometime, especially women. Women like to know that their guy still has that same attraction to them as they did the first day he saw them, if not more. When a woman is with her man, she likes to feel like she is the most beautiful woman and in that moment there is no other woman who can top her. So guys, if you're wondering why your girlfriend is always asking questions like "Do I look cute in this?" or "Do you think she is prettier than me?" That's why.
If after dating, your relationship grows into something serious, don't give up who you are. I sometimes see people who get in serious relationships and want to spend every waking moment with their spouse. Don't do that. Give your spouse space, have a girls/guys night out with your friends. Don't drop all your friends because now you are in a relationship and don't feel the need for them. Don't make your spouse's friends your new friends, thinking that is way to keep you guys close. You want your spouse and your friends to get along but you don't want them to be best friends. Keep them separate. That way if your relationship ends, there is life after that person.
Ladies, if you go out on a date with guy, and he is being a gentleman, don't forget to be a lady. By that I mean, if the guy pays for everything on the date, at least have the common courtesy to say thank you. If he cares enough about your safety to open the car door for you and make sure you are in safely, you can at least make sure the door is unlocked for him by the time he gets to the driver's side. Appreciate a man if he is going out of his way to impress and please you.
Always be open to try new things. For example, if you have never eaten sushi but your date has suggested going to a sushi restaurant, don't immediately say no to the idea. Try it first, and then you can say whether or not you like it. Being close-minded is a really big turn off.
Do: be appreciative, a good listener, understanding, leave a little to the imagination, trust, give your undivided attention during conversation, compromise.
After asking the opinion of a few friends and drawing on my own judgment, my best advice is don't have sex on the first date. If you want more out of the person than just a date, then don't give up all you have to offer on the first date. The person doesn't need to know you inside-out by the end of the night. If the person you are dating tries to make you feel as if you need to "put out" or else, then you don't really want to be with them anyway. It's clear what they want.
Don't: be shy, text or be on the phone during a conversation, overly jealous, desperate, bring up old drama, disrespectful.
Woman sometimes feel that even if the guy is not exactly what she wants at the time, she can change him. That's not true. That man is going to be who he is, regardless. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are just that special that you can change him into being the man you want him to be. It will not work. If he is not the man you need right then and there, move on.
When it comes to fashion and relationships, I only have one piece of advice. It is not cute to match outfits with your spouse. There is nothing cute about wearing the same thing as your boyfriend or girlfriend. Please stop that. You are two separate people for a reason.
I hope this advice that I have passed along to you helps. I hope it makes your dating life a little bit easier. If you don't get anything else from this, just remember to be yourself. At the end of the day just being yourself will make life so much more simple. Life is too short to be putting on a facade for someone else.
Tonisha Hagans is a journalism and fashion merchandising junior from Arlington.
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