Motherhood is never mandatory; life choices are always individual

Life is full of expectations. You might have certain expectations of this and that, and of others, and other people will certainly expect things of you. For example, women were, and sometimes still are, expected to marry, have a bunch of kids and live that mom life. But a lot of women, like me, don’t want to follow those expectations.

I don't want kids. Ever. Every time it comes up in conversation, I always get the following responses: “oh, you’ll change your mind one day,” “ are a blessing! Why not” and “don’t you want to be a mom, though?” No, I don’t. That’s the whole point. End of story.

My life decisions are not for you to judge or choose for me. I’m sick and tired of people looking down on me for my decision and trying to make me feel like I’m “not a real woman” because I don’t want kids. Yes, someone actually said that to me. People almost always act as though I’m unnatural and that being a mom is supposed to be my one true calling in life.

Don’t get me wrong though; I love kids. I love baby sitting and working with children. I actually plan to work with children for my future career. I just don’t want to have any of my own. Believe it or not, I’m perfectly fine with being the cool aunt that spoils my siblings’ future children.

To me, that’s the dream life, working, traveling and being the cool aunt. Besides, maybe other women who don’t have or want kids have a good reason. Maybe they’re sterile and don’t want to adopt. Maybe they lost a child before. Or like me, maybe it’s just preference, which is another perfectly valid reason. There are a million reasons as to why someone wouldn’t want kids, and it’s really nobody’s place to judge, no matter what.

I’m only 19, and I already have family members asking what I’ll name my future kids. But when one of my male cousins, who is only a few years older than me, said he didn’t want kids either, nobody disagreed with him. They congratulated him. They told him that he was making the smart decision, and to do what’s best for him.

But what about me? Shouldn’t I do what’s best for me? It’s not my job to marry some sucker and pop out a few babies. The only babies in my life will be my future fur babies, and of course, my family members’ children. I do not want to destroy my body or bank account. It is 2019 though, and the attitudes toward child-free women have improved, at least slightly.

Basically, the point I am trying to make is to let people live their lives. If you want to have 10 kids, great. One and done? Great. None at all? Great. Join the club. Just calm down and don’t freak out when a woman doesn’t want kids. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not your life. Don’t expect someone else to lead her life to adhere to your expectations.

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